"As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake." So said Mark Twain, and I have adhered to that same policy for 30 years. I’m a smokaholic! But today, I decided to quit.
That last statement is not strictly accurate, I actually decided to give up smoking before Christmas, and set a date of February 1st. But, then I got all stressed out over these dental problems, and the date got deferred to March 1st. The dental treatment isn’t over yet, I still have to go back for more tooth grinding to correct my bite, but I figured continuing to smoke will only exacerbate the gum disease. So I’m biting the bullet, well, not exactly, I’ve actually stuck on one of those nicotine patches, and am trying to give up.
Mark Twain understood a lot about smoking, "Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it hundreds of times." Twain was quite right, it is easy to give up, it’s not starting again that’s the problem. I can’t say I’ve tried to quit hundreds of times, but a few. I’ve tried nicotine gum and patches several times, I’ve been prescribed pills by the doctor, I’ve even tried hypnosis, but I’ve always started again.
The reason I always cave in is because I really enjoy smoking. On previous occasions when I’ve quit I do okay at first, but after a few months I start thinking about the torment of years without a cigarette, and then I snap. Once again Mark Twain was right on the money when he said, "...when they used to tell me I would shorten my life ten years by smoking, they little knew the devotee they were wasting their puerile words upon -- they little knew how trivial and valueless I would regard a decade that had no smoking in it!"
Today, I’m finding it very difficult to string a sentence together, I can’t write without a cigarette smoldering in the ashtray. I keep getting up and wandering listlessly around the house, gazing out of the window, fiddling with pens and pencils, molding a piece of silly putty. Nothing satisfies, because there is something missing from my life. It’s not that I’m craving nicotine, because this patch is feeding me a regular dose of that, but I am craving the simple pleasure of smoking. That’s because I’m an addict. Addictions, however, can be broken, and I am determined to do the best I can to break mine. Wish me luck.
Finally I must apologize to Josephine over at http://abritintn.blogspot.com/ she very kindly gave me this award and I am only now getting around to posting about it. I’m such a slacker! Thank you so much Josephine, I appreciate your passing it along to me. I’m going to pass the award onto Pam at http://pamokc.blogspot.com/
Toodle pip for now.